A Warrior’s Prayer

wounded-warrior

 

Dear LORD, 

Most of the times, people think I am strong, bold and confident. Yet, deep inside me, there are moments when I just lay down myself at Your feet – crying out my heart, pouring out these burdens that not even the closest of my friends know. 

Sometimes, I feel afraid. I am fearful to show that beneath the strong armor is a also a child crying out when she gets weak, when she gets wounded, when she feels disappointed or frustrated and so much more. Beneath the strong facade is actually a child cowering in her insecurities and uncertainties. 

I cannot pour out my heart easily, LORD because there were times when I remembered feeling hurt and betrayed by a friend. It hurt, my LORD. It hurt when, most of the times, you allow yourself to be vulnerable and that person saw a chink in your personal armor. It was something that I should have forgotten, but I guess, it left a deep scar in my heart. 

Still, I thank You because You taught me what grace and true love is. You taught me that forgiveness is an everyday decision that I could — and still — give to that person who hurt me. I am grateful that I was able to move beyond these piercing pains, because foremost, You are the One who endured such painstaking death on the cross so that I may live and be free.

You are my refuge and strength, my help in times of need,  my joy in life’s greatest sorrows. 

You are a God who heals. 

When I forget (and it happens for countless of times) that these pains are but momentary and I must count the joy that is coming, I realized how minute they are. Still, I thank You because Your love soaks me in Your ocean of deeper grace and mercy. I am able to give because You are merciful, gracious and generous to give me, which on my own, I won’t be able to do so. 

 

Yes, I am flawed and inconsistent, BUT, I am also graciously forgiven and overwhelmingly loved.

 

These days, I feel I am at the edge. 

I am at the edge of letting go. 

I am torn between staying and saying goodbye. 

Yet, a warrior never quits unless he or she choose to. 

I choose to stay firmly, to fight fiercely in faith, to run with endurance — knowing that at the end of each day, no matter how much I get tired, when I look upon the beauty of Your presence, when I remember that You are my ultimate source of love, mercy, forgiveness, joy and grace, I will sing of Your goodness and faithfulness. 

Yes, I am flawed and inconsistent, BUT, I am also graciously forgiven and overwhelmingly loved.

. . . a warrior never quits unless he or she chooses to. 

It might be a tough battle. I might be pierced on every side. I would have thrown the towel.

At the end of it all, Your love makes me realize the beauty there is in pains and trials, and the immeasurable joy of having You. 

Thank You, LORD Jesus!

 

 

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